The weakness of a criminal mastermind
by xLIVExEVILxSTEALxCOOKIESx
Summary: Artemis Fowl is known for being cold, but thanks to a certain centaur that could all change. What will Holly make of the Real Artemis?  Set between the first and second book. Only for Artemis fans XD
1. Chapter 1

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind**

Artemis Fowl the second. No one could rightly question the fact that he was a genius. Those who had met him as an enemy knew him as cold hearted and only interested in himself and his priorities. Captain Holly Short being one of the aforementioned enemies held this opinion of Artemis. Along with the rest of the LEP. To the Lower Elements Police, Artemis Fowl was a huge threat to the People. He was the first human to relieve the People of their gold. To his mother Angeline Fowl and to Butler and Juliet Artemis Fowl the second was a boy. The loneliest boy in the world.

**Police Plaza, Haven City, The Lower Elements **

Foaly the centaur was gliding his fingers expertly on the futuristic keyboard like a skilled pianist. After roughly five minutes of this, a certain commander snapped.

"Dammit Pony boy what is so important that you had to drag us down here but not important enough for you to do it any faster!"

Foaly leaned back from the monitor and straightened his tin foil hat.

"Actually Julius, I only asked Holly to come. You insisted on coming too"

"1 Don't call me Julius 2 It's my job as commander to make sure you two don't plan something stupid" Roots' face was tinged purple, living up to his nickname beetroot.

"Well it's ready now!" Foaly whinnied. Ignoring his superior. Needless to say Roots' face grew an even rosier hue.

"What is it anyway, Foaly?" Holly asked, looking highly amused. Her hazel eyes had betrayed he seemingly straight face.

"Yes centaur what is it?" Vinyaya, another spectator in affairs.

"_Why is there so many people here?"_ Foaly wondered looking from Holly –the only one he had actually sent for- to Root to Vinyaya to Verbil Chix and finally to Trouble Kelp.

He didn't bother to voice his question as he wanted to get right to the show.,

"After months of fruitless effort, I have hacked into Fowl Manors' cameras" Foaly grinned. Needless to say this caught the entire rooms' attention.

"Won't he we're watching him. Knowing his twisted mind he'd probably use it as an excuse to start another war" Vinyaya said, being the first one to recover. Hollys' blood was boiling. It always did whenever she was reminded of the mud boy who had elfnapped her and held her for ransom.

"That's the clever thing, it's impossible to detect even for Master Artemis."

"Hmmm" Root, Trouble and Vinyaya hmmm-ed in unison. Remembering all the times Foaly said something was impossible to break or be found. It wasn't.

"Now" Foaly grinned a toothy grin "Let's spy on a muudboy"

**Fowl manor, Dublin**

Artemis Fowl the second was in a bad mood. It was his first day back at school. And the people there had if possible grown more stupid since he had last met them. Artemis opened the front door of Fowl Manor and stepped inside with his old friend Butler on his heels. Artemis put on a very convincing fake smile as he walked in. Butler didn't believe it obviously and Artemis knew his mother wouldn't buy it either.

_At least I'm trying_ Artemis sighed inwardly.

He then proceeded to the front room of the house that had recently been remodelled due to a troll attack half a year ago. He knew his mother would be there waiting for him with a smile on her face. He smiled a real smile whenever he saw it. It was all because of Holly Short that he had gotten to see his mothers' smiling face again. For that he was forever thankful. Though he would not be inclined to admit it. When he handed over half the ransom fund in exchange for his mothers' sanity he was doubtful. But he had no regrets. He had missed his mother.

"Arty!"

"Coming mother" Artemis called back to her, trying to ignore the feeling of someone laughing at him.

Police plaza, Haven city, lower elements

Foaly was having a very good time. Laughing at a certain criminal prodigy.

"What a cute pet name. Arty! It really suits him, don't ya think?" The centaur Laughs.

"He sure looks happy" Holly says bitterly, referring to the smile Artemis was wearing.

"It's fake" Dr J Argon stated.

"When did you get here!" Foaly asked incredulously

"Quite a while ago" The psychiatrist says, slightly miffed that he had been ignored.

"What's fake?" Root asked, trying not to look confused.

"The smile. It doesn't reach his eyes. It's fake. But for whos benefit?"

"Hers" Foaly pointed to Angeline Fowl on the monitor and every-one saw what they thought they'd never see. An innocent, real smile on Artemis Fowls' face.

Fowl manor, Dublin

Artemis walked into the front room and saw Angeline smiling, he smiled too. It wasn't forced like he thought it would be. When he saw the sophisticated looking man on the coach, his smile became more strained. Angeline noticed this and frowned slightly.

"Arty, this is Dr K Niles, he's a psychiatrist. After all you've been through. I think you should talk to him"

Artemis scoffed –along with 6 fairies underground not that he knew that- Angeline simply hugged her son, who didn't push her away. "Be nice" She said and left.

"Let's start then" Dr K Niles smiled.

"This won't work" Artemis stated matter of factly with no emotion portrayed.

"And why is that?" The good doctor asks. Writing it all down in his notebook.

"Because, your smile is more fake than mine" Artemis smiled his vampire smile and left the room and the baffled Dr K Niles.

_Very interesting_

Two different species of psychiatrist thought in unison.

**Authors note**

Hey, This story was meant to be a one shot but then I decided to make it longer

**Please rate and review**


	2. Chapter 2

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 2 **

**Quacks spouting psychobabble **

**Fowl manor **

"Artemis, we are not making any progress here" Dr K Niles massaged his temples.

"Are you admitting defeat?" Artemis smirked. Dr K Niles was close to cracking, he could feel it.

"No, Artemis I am not" Dr K Niles sighed.

"Well we've been here for" Artemis checked his Swatch watch "2 hours and 15 minutes. You yourself just admitted that we're going nowhere. I'm very busy, and I'm sure you are too so if we could just wrap this up…"

"You're 11 years old, what could be keeping you busy?"

"I have to find my father" Artemis stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Below ground Holly gasped.

"I thought your father was missing for almost two years now, legally speaking he's dead" Dr K Niles was obviously confused. Artemis gripped the arms of his chair.

"I don't care about what the government have to say. He's alive and I will find him" Determination shone in Artemises' eyes. Which unfortunately encouraged Dr K Niles to proceed.

**Police Plaza, Haven city, The Lower Elements**

"Wow" Said Vinyaya said "The mud boy actually cares about something"

"Hmmm, very interesting indeed.

"A missing father presumed dead drives genius mud boy to exploit the people"" Dr J Argon says already picturing the movie.

"You really think that's why?" Holly asked.

"It is possible. I have always wondered why he was so desperate for the gold…" Foaly confessed.

"Che, I don't care if both his parents are missing, he had no right to steal our gold" Root huffed with a fungal cigar in his mouth.

"Well his mother is obviously there" Trouble pointed out.

Holly bit her lip "Well, that's kinda my fault" Everyone looked at her.

"Holly, explain" Root sighed, he felt a head ache coming on.

"Well you know how he gave back half the ransom? Well it was in exchange for a wish"

"A wish?" Foaly scoffed "He really thinks we're short little green top hat wearing imps at the end of the rainbow doesn't he?"

"Shut it, pony boy. What wish?" Root asked.

"Half the ransom in exchange for his mothers' sanity. Apparently she was severely depressed beyond mud man treatment. He didn't tell me why –not that I asked- do you think it was his dad leaving?"

No one said anything for a minute. They shouldn't care. They didn't care. It explained his actions, but that didn't mean he was forgiven.

_I still hate him _Holly decided. Just in time to see the psychiatrist throw a fit. Not there one. The human.

**Fowl manor, Dublin**

"THAT IS IT! I have dealt with many different cases before this; Depression, hallucination even a schizophrenic! But I have never-" He cut off by Artemis. The child genius was staring past the psychiatrist, smiling a vampire smile

"No, we can't kill him yet he's not ready" Artemis said. Making the Dr wonder if he had finally a diagnosis for the boy. Meanwhile underground elves were thoroughly spooked by the newest revelation.

"Artemis…"

"Shut up!" Artemis screamed with his hands clamped in his hair. "Stop talking! I can't hear her!" Artemis complained.

"Her?" The doctor cautiously asked, looking over hs notes for some reason for Artemises' outburst.

"Why, the fairy of course" Artemis said calmly, though he looked slightly deranged "Don't you see her?"

"No Artemis I do not see her she is just a figment of-"

"NO, YOU'RE WRONG SHE'S REA-" Butler put his shovel like hand on his charges shoulder and ordered Artems "Stop playing with Dr Niles, what would your father think of you making a show of yourself?" Artemis looked for a fraction of a moment like he had been stabbed. He sighed and was back to his composed self.

"You're right, old friend. I'm sorry Mr Niles –he refuses to acknowledge him as a doctor- I shouldn't have taken my bad day out on you" There was no apology in the young genius' voice as he stood from his chair and began to walk away for the second time that day.

"Why is it that you are so desperate to please your _missing_ father?" This halted Artemis in his tracks. "Could it be because you could never meet his expectations when he was alive?"

Artemis didn't even turn around "I'll say it once more. My father is alive and I will find him" With that Artemis left the front room and headed for his study. He was not about to admit it to the doctor but he was absolutely right.

**Police Plaza, Haven city, The Lower Elements**

"Are we getting anything useful out of this!" Root growled through his fungal cigar – unlit, damn centaur-

"Well, we now know that his bodyguard is his -possibly only- friend and that his father is his weakness" Foaly said evenly, shrugging.

"That information could be useful if he decides to attack the people again" Vinyaya conceded.

"Yea, it would be fun to see the mud boy break down for real!" Chix grinned, probably imagining it in his green head.

"That's horrible!" Holly said involuntarily. She hated him, but she didn't anyone should be broken apart from the inside out. Everyone stared at the Captain.

"It probably wouldn't work" Trouble stated, saving Holly for the moment "Look at him, he was playing with the psychiatrist!"

"Which is why we have to watch this" Foaly smirked. Holly looked like she was ready to leave.

_This is wrong _she thought _so is kidnapping _she reminded herself and went back to watching the video. Apparently they were now in his study.

**Fowl Manor, Dublin **

**In Artemises' study**

"No movement" He muttered, staring at the files sent to him by the men working for him around the Arctic circle. Artemis scowled.

_What if he's actually dead? No, Fowls don't give up_

Artemis spent a total of two hours three minutes in his study before Butler came up

"Master Artemis, are you okay?" Butler knew he shouldn't be so attached to his charge. It went against his training, but it had got to the point where he could read Artemises' every emotion. The boy had gotten so cold, there was constantly loneliness somewhere in his eyes. Especially when someone brought up his father. But that was always when Artemis was the most determined.

"Yes, I'm… fine" Artemis said at last.

"Well, I'll just leave you to your work the" Butler and the fairies underground were surprised by what Artemis did next.

"Wait!" Artemis himself looked surprised at himself.

"Yes, Artemis?" Butler said as softly as a mountainous Eurasian can. This seemed to snap Artemis out of his daze.

"Butler, do you think it's hopeless, finding father that is?" Artemis looked up at his manservant and looked several years older than he actually was.

"No Artemis, not for a Fowl" Butler smiled at Artemis who looked relieved for a fraction of a moment. Despite what a lot of people think, Artemis really valued Butlers' opinion.

"Yes… good. I thought so too" Artemis went back to his work to hide his embarrassment when he saw Butler smiling down at him.

"That's all" He said.

"Yes Artemis, just call if you need anything" Butler said and went to leave "Oh and Artemis, Dr Niles is gone now. I don't think he'll be coming back. He looks like he's aged ten years" Butler smirked, Artemis turned to face Butler and mirrored his smirk.

"Good, my life is stressful enough without a quack spouting psychobabble…, what did he diagnose me with anyway?"

"Pathological liar" Butler smirked.

"Probably true" Artemis admitted "But is that a diagnosis or just a symptom? As I said before, a quack"

"Agreed" And Butler left the study where Artemis would spend countless more hours working to keep the Fowls afloat whilst looking for his Father. It was incredibly difficult, even if he had all the fairy gold from the siege it didn't help as significantly as he would have hoped. It was also very hard to pull of his schemes with his mother back to full health. Especially with his growing conscience. That was what was bothering him most. He couldn't lie to his mother without feeling guilty, it was annoying.

**Authors note**

Okay that's the end of this chapter! XD

**Please rate and review**


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors note**

Okay, Tech17 pointed out to me that Artemis should be twelve in this and I accidentally made him 11. Sorry.

So from now on he's 12(and a half)

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 3 **

.

**Police plaza, Haven city**

Out of respect (and not wanting to be accused of having feelings for the mudboy or something stupid) all the fairies agreed to look around the manor when Artemis was getting changed or going to the bathroom etc..

Dr K Niles was downstairs talking to Angeline while Arty (as Foaly had taken to calling him) was up in his study doing boring things only Foaly found interesting. So naturally, they went to Angeline.

**Fowl manor, Dublin**

**Front room**

"Over the time that Artemis senior was away, has your son been acting abnormally?"

"Well, Arty was always a bit stiff" sigh " Timmy liked to run this family like a business most of the time, but since he left Arty has been… colder?"

"What was your source of income while "Timmy" was away?" Angeline kept heer gaze on her hands.

"I don't know" Angeline confessed quietly to her hands. Dr Niles raised his eyebrows at her.

"Are you meaning to say that Artemis was the only one earning any money for the household! And you let him! Surely he couldn't sustain the manor and keep this guy" signalling at butler incredulously "working for him doing anything legally! I've talked to your son and he seems (no offense) like a very manipulative, mean boy, even if he is a genius" Dr Niles ranted as Angeline shrunk further and further into her chair.

"I wasn't … in my right mind for the past year or so…" Angeline trailed off. Dr K Niles rubbed his temples.

_Just how messed up is this family?_

Little did he know that below ground a centaur was voicing these exact thoughts. Only to be smacked by Vinyaya and Holly and told (kindly) to shut the hell up by Root.

"My sister and I worked for free for a while, besides Master Artemis senior didn't leave them broke. Artemis was simply very good at handling the money left behind" The manservant lied smoothly, saving Angeline.

Dr Niles was silent for a moment as he stared at the huge Eurasian wondering whether or not he should tell the huge manservant to stay out of the conversation.

"What do you mean by "not in your right mind"?" He pressed on

"After I heard of the fowl star sinking, I couldn't take the real world. When push came to pull I crumbled and left Arty to deal with everything alone. I didn't think about how it would burden him" Angeline rubbed her falling tears away with her wrist.

"I see" The doctor sighed apathetically, handing her a Kleenex. "Well, I think it's safe to say he was put under a lot of stress due to frankly, bad parenting on both sides" Angeline looked as if someone had ran a knife through her.

"Are you sure you're a psychiatrist?" Butler asked, surprising the whole room including himself. Not that it showed (thank you Madam Ko)

"Excuse me?" Dr K Niles grit his teeth.

"Just something Master Artemis said… he's generally never wrong" Butler said. He could practically feel Juliet laughing at him for his (calm) outburst. Butlers didn't get defensive about their charges. It broke every rule in the book (not the fairy one, a kind of bodyguard book thing…)

"Yes, I am a psychiatrist. And I'm pretty sure _Artemis_ is a pathological liar" The _doctors' _every word dripped with venom.

"I think you should go now" Angeline folded her arms and scowled in a way in a way a lot less scary than Artemis' (more like a pout really)

Dr K Niles took a moment to consider things then left the manor without complaint.

_Good luck to the next fool to try and help this family, I need a painkiller_

Butler turned to go upstairs .

"Butler where are you going?" Angeline asked the manservant as if he was a child caught sneaking out.

"To see Master Artemis and tell him the good doctor is gone" Butler smiled. Angeline smiled too as he left.

_How long have they been so close?_

**The next day**

The blue eyed Irish youth yawned as he woke up. Sliding from his bed he went to go get changed. He stood still and closed his eyes lightly, tempted to just go back to bed. Snapping his eyes open, the startling, icy blue orbs were devoid of sleepiness.

Walking down the ridiculously large, curved staircase, Artemis Fowl II smirked, today was the day when they were going to elect class president, he had rigged the ballet. Not so he would win (he had no time for such meaningless things) but so that the shyest, most quiet girl he had ever met would win. Shoving her out of her shell. She would sink or swim. Either way it promised to be amusing.

"Morning, sir" Butler greeted Artemis. If he wasn't trained not to show emotion worry lines would have appeared on his forehead at the darkness of the bags under his young masters' eyes.

"Morning" Artemis replied.

"Today I've made Lemon ricotta pancakes for breakfast"

"Very good, old friend"

"Morning Arty!" Angeline Fowl pulled her son into a hug which he accepted as not to hurt her feelings. (or at least that's what he would tell Butler)

Angeline had become very… attached to Artemis since she regained sanity.

_Probably making up for lost time _Butler mused _I hope she's not too late_ He thought as he saw Artemis standing stiffly in his mothers' embrace.

**Authors note**

Mostly Angeline and Butler (and the psychiatrist of course) in this chapter.

The next chapter will be more Holly centred

**Thanks for all the reviews **

**PLEASE RATE AND REVIEW**


	4. Chapter 4

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 4**

**Haven city, wherever Holly lives**

The spunky (Root thinks so anyway) young elfin captain stretched her arms behind her head and yawned. Holly short was a pretty, young (in fairy terms) elf with big hazel eyes and auburn spiked hair and nut toned skin. She was a LEPrecon too, but that was just a job. As the first female fairy to make the rank of captain in the history of the People, Holly was expected to be punctual for work. Even if she wasn't. Today though Holly Short had actually got up in time to avoid the main morning traffic that flooded Haven city. So for what was probably the first time in her career, Holly Short made it to work on time, even a bit early. Which made her a very lonely elf as most of the male members of the LEP hadn't bothered to get up in time to make it on time. As usual.

Foaly sauntered through the super-a-troll-wouldn't-get-through-this-thing-doors to his computer room with ease, as he would as he did the same thing every day. What he didn't do every day was walk out of his Foaly-tastic office to get his standard breakfast from the canteen to see his best friend standing with a crafty grin on her face. Foaly nearly lost his tin-foil hat as he whinnied back from sheer shock.

"Unauthorised breakfast break?" Holly smirked

"Yes" Foaly sighed, knowing that his friend wouldn't sell him out to Julius ,er Commander Root. She herself had been broken a lot of rules herself and Root didn't know the half of them! This was thanks to her four hoofed friend of course. And the fact that the Commander wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed didn't hurt either. As Foaly has mentioned so often that Holly was surprised that Root hadn't heard him at least once and docked his pay for a few centuries.

"Aren't you an early bird today" Foaly smirked as he walked along with his friend "Couldn't wait to play eye spy on Arty?" Holly stopped to glare at him.

"Dear Frond, no" They kept walking with Foalys' knowing smirk annoying Holly to no end.

"Honestly I don't see why you're so infatuated with him!" Holly said as they neared the cantine.

"With who?" Foaly asked innocently

"Artemis Fowl!" Holly whispered incredulously to Foaly, looking around to make sure no one in the near empty canteen heard them.

"You're the one still talking about him" Foaly pointed out as he paid for his food.

Holly growled in response

"Yes very intimidating" Foaly said sarcastically as he began his journey back to his office with Holly in tow, scowling.

"Ya know maybe I should tell Commander Root about your little breakfast ventures" Holly threatened sweetly.

"You wouldn't dare" Foaly stopped to look at his friend, even though he knew her well 'unpredictable ' was Holly's middle name.

"Try me" Holly didn't even blink as she smirked cockily at the centaur.

"Che, it's not like he can fire me" Foaly scoffed and started walking again.

"I don't know, I'm pretty sure Opal Koboi has been making quite an impression" This stopped Foaly in his tracks as Holly kept walking happily, satisfied that she had struck a nerve.

"Koboi" Foaly grumbled darkly under his breath and began to catch up with Holly. He vowed to drop all Arty themed jokes around Holly. For the moment at least.

**St Bartleby's school for young gentlemen (now accepting girls too),**

**County Wicklow, Ireland**

"And now, to conclude the assembly, what you've all been waiting for" Principle Guiney paused dramatically and could practically feel that Fowl (in every sense of the word) kid roll his icy blue eyes "The announcement of your elected class president!" Artemis smiled his vampire smile and those sitting near him edged away even further than they were before, all cursing every God and Deity that they had to be close when one of Artemis' mischievous plans were put into action.

"And your class president is…" Yet another dramatic pause. Artemis glanced sideways at the girl sitting a chairs across with her hands fidgeting in her lap as she stared intently at them

_Tara __O'Neil _Artemis thought _get ready to go on stage and crash and burn. Or succeed incredibly against the odds and lose all sense of self-consciousness _Artemis scowled at the thought. _As interesting as that would be it would make rigging the ballet a good deed on my part. Butler would never let me live it down_

"Artemis Fowl II!" Principle Guiney announced with a glint in his eye.

All eyes, turned to Artemis, who was shocked for a fraction of a moment before realisation struck

_I see I'm not the only one cheating _Artemis smirked and the temperature of the room dropped a good 3®

Standing up, Artemis slowly made his way to the stage. The entire room was silent and the only sound were that of his loafers clacking against the cold floor as he walked.

Finally reaching the podium, the entire assembly waited with baited breath for whatever stunt he was planning on pulling.

Clearing his throat (more for dramatic effect than anything) Artemis spoke into the microphone

"Tsk, tsk Mr Guiney, it's not nice to cheat"

"What do you mean?" Mr Guiney asked, fawning innocence perfectly.

"I'm saying that rigging the ballads sets a terrible example for the students here" Artemis smirked as he looked out to his audience. Because they were his audience, and this was his show. What kind of performer would he be if he couldn't even keep the spectators entertained. And entertained they were. As much as they might loathe, avoid or even fear the Irish youth, a principle rigging an election was unheard of.

"What makes you think I-"Mr Guiney started but was cut short.

"1 the glint in your eye when you read out my name. Not to mention that you weren't surprised in the least.

2 You seem to be forget that no one in this school likes me

And finally 3 I know you rigged the ballet because I rigged the ballet myself for someone else to win. So, I appreciate the gesture but I must decline" Artemis finished with a smirk at Mr Guineys' frustrated face and the once dead silent room erupting into whispers. The ne Artemis really had to laugh at was a particularly loud mouthed girl who didn't get that the point of whispering was to be quiet and sounded rather like a smoker . She whispered (if you could call it that) "He knows we don't like him?" to her friend who looked nervously at Artemis whilst hissing at the loudmouth to "Shut up, he'll hear you!"

"Who did you rig the ballet to win?" The person who stood up and spoke loudly and clearly surprised everyone, even Artemis, not that it showed (thank you Artemis senior) it was Tara O'Neil

"Secrets" Artemis said, surprisingly playful. He looked back on his statement and scowled

_I'm spending too much time with mother _

**Authors note**

I thought I'd make a chapter where Artemis is wreaking havoc on his school!

Okay I want every Irish person who read this to review. ^w^ pwease?

**Please rate and review !**


	5. Chapter 5

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 5**

**Fowl Manor, Dublin**

Artemis Fowl II walked through the double doors of Fowl Manor with a scowl –"ooh look the mud boys' back"- as Butler closed the door behind them and announced their arrival to Mrs Fowl.

"Welcome back Arty, Butler!" Angeline cheered from the front room.

"Master Artemis, why the bad mood?" Butler asked his young charge

"1 "Why the bad mood?" Why don't you just add _dude_ to that and 2 _Principle Guiney_ is an _idiot_" Artemis' tone went from slightly irritated to spitting venom as the sentence progressed.

"Arty, don't call people idiots" Angeline said, coming out of the front room

"Even if you are smarter than them" Butler added with a smirk and his charge smirked back up at him with his vampire smirk.

"Not everyone is a genius, Arty!" Angeline reminded her only son in a gently chiding tone.

"True. But this man is _stupid" Artemis __stressed the word stupid and scowled._

"What exactly did he do to bring you to that conclusion?" Butler queried, usually he would just wait for Artemis to tell him. He would when he was ready. But lately Artemis has seemed quite bothered by something. Ever since the Fairy Siege on Fowl Manor. He hadn't really confided in Butler like he used to. At first the manservant had thought it was something to do with Angeline returning to sanity, maybe he was being more cautious? That was what Butler thought but it was half a year later. Artemis wasn't the type to be overly cautious, maybe slightly paranoid at times but still… And then it hit him. Artemis was guilty. The ice block of a child was _guilty_. Butler knew how well Artemis could lie, he had just assumed that when Artemis told Holly that he was sorry that it was just another lie, but to think that he had actually _meant _it. It could mean good things for the future.

_More tasteful ventures, not legal but definitely more tasteful _Butler remembered his charge saying that after the Fowl Siege.

_Of course _Butler thought _Illegal is always faster but that doesn't mean we have to do anything without class _

"Butler, would you mind preparing the dinner. Arty you can tell us about your day after we've finished eating. Okay?" Butler and Artemis nodded in unison

"Yes mother"

"Yes Mrs Fowl" Butler tried to look as if he wasn't daydreaming. But he knew from Artemis' knowing smirk that he saw it.

_He knows me too well _Butler thought _Madam Ko would have my tattoo removed _

**Below ground, Police Plaza, Haven city**

"Great, now we know that his principle is an idiot I'm sure that will help us if he is planning on attacking" Vinyaya said with more sarcasm in her voce than Mulch complementing Root on his crook catching skills.

"Don't you have a job to do?" Foaly asked with a scowl gracing his features.

"Yes, Pony boy we all have work including you so why not stop all this surveillance crap and just leave the damn mud-boy be?" Root snarled

"I agree with the commander. It doesn't seem like he's planning an attack on the People I he's got what he wants" Holly reasoned. Meanwhile Trouble –though he'd deny it- Foaly and Vinyayas' mouths were hanging open making them look like fish out of water.

"What?"

"You _agree _with Root?" Trouble exclaimed

"Who are you and what have you done with Holly Short?" Foaly asked.

Holly scowled "I do agree with Root sometimes" Holly defended.

"No you don't" Chix says as he walks in holding four cups of hot coffee "Here Root, Trouble Foaly" He says handing each a coffee.

"What, no coffee for us?" Vinyaya asked for both herself and Holly who was trying to think up times when she _did _agree with the commander

"Don't be silly, coffee can burn you and beautiful women such as yourselves shouldn't have to go through that" Chix said with great bravado.

"I think we'd be alright. Even if we did spill it our magic would heal us straight away" Vinyaya reassured him. She liked coffee, especially the one from the coffee machine at Haven, it was a good coffee machine. Root liked coffee too.

"Yeah but it would still hurt before you heal, see" To prove his point, Chix knocked over Foalys' coffee cup on to the centaur and the computers.

"D'arvit!" Foaly swore loudly and glared at Chix "Hey Verbil, ya know that computers and centaurs DON'T heal"

"Wow really? That sucks any one of us could kill you"

"You even try and my plasma floor will activate and burn you all" Foaly smirked and Holly rolled her eyes "Any normal person would have said "I trust you guys not to kill me" but no you had to go with the plasma floors"

**Authors note**

I'll put up the next chapter tomorrow… probably

**Please rate and review **


	6. Chapter 6

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind**

**Chapter 6 **

**Somewhere in Ireland **

Mulch Diggums sighed as he sank into his seat at the American styled diner and pulled down his hat. Even Ireland, where seeing the sun was rarer than a blue moon was too sunny for the dwarf.

"Damn mud child" He grumbled to himself as his tombstone teeth dug into his extra-large beef cheese with onions, mushrooms, lettuce and for some reason rocky road ice-cream burger, finishing it in one bite.

Mulch had no idea how he did it but Fowl did what pony boy couldn't. He found him. And of course what else could he do but blackmail the poor Dwarf. And his life in LA was so nice. So many rich mud men to steal from, even if it was a bit too easy for his taste. But he definitely preferred it to facing an angry Root. All the mud boy had to do is find a way to communicate with people and Mulchs' life of luxury would be over, they'd probably throw him in a cell with a few goblins. He shuddered at thought. Although it had been centuries since mud men and the People shared communications Mulch was certain that the criminal prodigy would do it.

For the umpteenth that day Mulch Diggums sighed.

**Fowl Manor, Ireland **

Angeline Fowl, debatably the most Lady like woman in Ireland was turning red from laughing so hard at her scowling son, gasping apologies between laughs. Even Butler looked amused. Especially his charges reaction to his mothers' hysterics. As much as the Irish youth would deny it, he was folding his arms, scowling and looked moments away from stomping his foot. It was all so _childish_ and un-Artemis-like.

What caused this laughter you might ask. Well it was what happened to Artemis

'"Who did you rig the ballet to win?" The person who stood up and spoke loudly and clearly surprised everyone, even Artemis, not that it showed (thank you Artemis senior) it was Tara O'Neil

"Secrets" Artemis said, surprisingly playful. He looked back on his statement and scowled

_**I'm spending too much time with mother**_

"_Ooh it seems that the person to come in second place was a Tara O' Neil" The principle smiled a vampire smile that wasn't nearly as threatening as Artemis' with his chubby face. Tara blushed and seemed to become shy again, realising what that meant. A mere twelve seconds later everyone else caught on and started wolf whistling and yelling stuff like "Well in!" To Artemis who stood there trying not to look conflicted._

_**What does that even mean?**__ Artemis thought __**Back to the point, this man shouldn't be a principle it's not like I did because I **__**like**__** her but the real reason is just as embarrassing **_

"_Mr Guiney, are you done yet?" Artemis asked testily seeing the smirk on the supposed grown mans' face._

"_Done doing what?" Mr Guiney asked innocently, even if his smirk betrayed him "You can go back and sit near your girlfriend now …Mr president" _

_Artemis resisted the low growl forming in his throat. He went down and retook his seat, which was only three away from Tara, which he berated himself for planning as everyone started whispering or whistling. _

_And that's when Tara whispered to him "Thanks" and then looked away blushing._

_Despite himself__ Artemis smirked in amusement.__**'**_

Which brought them to where they were.

"That's it, you people laugh too much! I'm late for an appointment Butler come on!" Artemis snapped in embarrassment.

"Yes sir" and with that said master and manservant left, Angeline too busy laughing to stop them.

Little did they know that below ground a group of fairies were laughing as well except for Holly who couldn't figure out why she felt slightly peeved.

**Somewhere in Ireland**

"Hello Mr Diggums" A certain mud boy said, sliding in to the booth the dwarf was sitting in.

"Hello Master Fowl" Mulch grinned his most threatening grin, showing all his teeth. Artemis just laughed coldly at the attempt and Butler glared. Sighing, Mulch leaned into the table "So what do you want from me mud boy?"

Artemis laughed "Oh Mr Diggums you're going to love this job"

**Authors note**

The plot thickens ^w^

**Please rate and review **


	7. Chapter 7

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 7**

**Fowl Manor, Dublin**

**Artemis' study**

Artemis found himself smiling broadly at his masterwork. This could have been one of most brilliant schemes yet. It was all forming perfectly in his head. During the Siege the fairies cheated. They used a convict who had already broken the fairy rules so often that he was immune to the side effects. _So _Artemis thought mischievously _Why don't I do the same?_

Not to give the wrong idea. Artemis had no interest in exploiting the People any further he only had one target in mind and he needed the help of some one not human. Someone of the dwarf variety to be more specific.

Mulch Diggums was the perfect candidate for the job. After a bit of hacking on Artemis' part (stupid centaur didn't even know), he discovered that the dwarf died in a tunnel accident just as he was escaping from Fowl Manor. This seemed rather suspicious to Artemis, after reading through his sizable file. He was very skilled at what he did and Artemis highly doubted that this was how such a magnificent dwarf would die. As the young teen read further through the events of Mr Diggums death, the more he smiled. Faking his own death. Absolutely amazing. Artemis duped the fairy people himself but that was to be expected of a genius. Mulch didn't seem like the sharpest tool in the shed but he was smart enough to fake his own death and even get away with a portion of the gold!

So Artemis decided to look for the dwarf and of course blackmail him into assisting.

And it worked perfectly.

**Police Plaza, Haven city**

"This is soooooooo boring" Chix complained. The mud boy seemed to spend more timelooming over his many monitors in his study than Chix spent hitting on fairies. And that's a lot of time.

"Go then" Foaly growled. Since the election thing nothing interesting has been happening. Nothing they could see anyway. It seemed Master Fowl had taken to going out every day after school. Which wouldn't be odd for a normal 13 year old, but from what they gathered "Anti-social" was his middle name. Which brought Foaly to a conclusion

"This is frustrating!" Holly rolled her wide elfin eyes " I know he's doing something but what? It's as if he _knows_ we're watching him. OmiFrond He knows we're watching him!" Foaly panicked.

"Foaly stop being paranoid" Holly said in a calming voice "You're scaring the commander" She smirked as an after-thought while Root turned an all new shade of purple whilst Vinyaya chuckled with Trouble and Chix shrunk back. After all he was scared too.

"I think the mud boy would have done something by now if he knew. Something big and theatrical to make us cry for our Mommies" Vinyaya said but Foaly just shook his head

"THAT'S what he's planning. An excellent piece of mischief doesn't just jump in front of you and shake its tail feathers!" Foaly exclaimed

"Tail feathers?" Root asked with eyebrows raised.

"He's been watching mud man movies again" Holly sighed

"But he has a poin' don' he?" Chix said. They all looked over what Foaly said and couldn't help but agree. Very silently as no one wanted to admit that either Foaly or Chix was right.

**Authors' note**

Sorry for the short chapter

What do you guys think Artemis' plan is? And what are the fairies gonna do about it? Review and tell me your theories cuz I think it would be funny :D


	8. Chapter 8

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 8**

**Paraiba Hills, Brazil**

Mulch growled under his sombrero. Despite what young Master Fowl had said he did not "love this job" And when Mulch had confronted the Irish Youth on it he had just shrugged and said

"I lied" Mulch just wanted to unhook his jaw right there and stuff the mud boy in his mouth to moisten. But even Mulch wouldn't risk the man mountain. And the mud boy knew too, freely pushing all of Mulchs buttons. _Because nothing is worse than getting thrown into a cell with a bunch of stupid goblins_Mulch thought as he continued his lunch at the side of the hill. _Wonder what's so important about this damn jewel anyway _Mulch was only slightly miffed that he really didn't know any-more than what he was looking for and what would happen if he tried to steal it for himself. Gulping at the memory Mulch shook his head in exasperation _Since when were mud men so scary?_

"Oh well, back to work then" Mulch said to himself before swallowing the last of his _Kentucky__ fried chicken _and unhinging his jaw and taking pleasure in the feeling of the soil against his skin (hair?)

His sensitive hairs searching around for his prize, and maybe a rabbit or two, depending on how peckish he was feeling later on. _This what dwarfs do best _

**Fowl Manor, Dublin**

"Butler, has she arrived safely?" Artemis asked his manservant as he heard the manservant enter his study.

"You mean J-" But was cut off there

"Sshh, Butler do you not remember what I told you?" Artemis hissed, not quite believing he had _shushed_ someone. Underground Foaly thought he saw the mudboys' gaze meet the camera for a fraction of a moment before returning his attention to Butler

"Oh yes sir, sorry she has arrived safe and sound"

"Is that so? Very good, it's going as planned then?"

"Yes, nothing yet though" Butler said and a frown marred his young charges' face for a second before being lifted and replaced with a sigh drawing from pale lips. These were the times Butler worried that the twelve year old looked closer to forty.

"I suppose that's to be expected" Artemis rationalised after all the _Paraiba Tourmaline _is a very rare gem indeed.

**Authors note**

Sorry for the short chapter and the long wait (my computer broke T-T, but it's fine now ^w^)

Please rate and review! And btw I still want to hear what you think is gonna happen next

It's fun ^w^


	9. 9 Faze 1

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Chapter 9**

**Faze 1**

**Police Plaza, Haven City**

Foaly chewed on his lip worriedly, he was _sure _he saw the mud boy look right into his _undetectable_ cameras if only for a second.

"Pony boy, if your cameras are all super and invisible then the mud brat shouldn't be able to see them!" Root pinches the bridge of his nose.

"YES That's my problem exactly he SHOULDN'T be able to see them!"Foaly rages at his Commander whose face had grown rather red.

"Well maybe you're just being paranoid, again" Holly says calmly as Root's face paled to his usual colour.

"Have I ever been paranoid enough to doubt my own technology?" Foaly asks, staring into Holly's hazel eyes, soon Holly paled as well, Foaly NEVER doubts his own technology.

"That's it, captain Short I'm sending you to keep an eye on Fowl, make sure he's not planning anything. Anything he does we _did_ make the first move and we're going to end this game" Root announces, anger and the slightest bit of fear in his voice.

_Is it right to send Holly, she knows him better than anyone underground but are we risking losing her again? The council wouldn't hesitate to blue rinse the place this time_

While Root ponders, Holly is already gearing herself up for the next shuttle at Tara.

"Okay, Short don't get seen, don't enact any sort of revenge for last time and most importantly don't do anything stupid" Root orders and Holly nods curtly, determination in her eyes "Don't worry Commander, I'm in no rush to get captured again"

Foaly snorts "Yeah okay, how're you for magic? We don't want you to in 5 ft range of the mud monster when your shield just stops working"

"Don't worry, centaur, I'm running hot … let's just hope your field equipment isn't as ineffective as your cameras" Holly says and walks out of the room to get her shuttle and hears Foaly whinny indignantly and Root chuckle at the centaurs' expense.

"Okay Fowl, let's see what you've got in store for us this time"

**Fowl manor, Dublin, Ireland**

Artemis drums his pianist worthy fingers against the onyx painted wood of his desk, Butler was due 2 and half minutes ago with coded news of how their dwarf was doing. Artemis was slightly worried, mostly about Butler to his own dismay.

_He's a grown man, in a situation where the worst thing that can happen is a flatulent dwarf turning against us and deciding to knock him out and bite his head off _

Artemis groans at his own thoughts as Butler enters the study

"Something wrong, Artemis?" Butler asks, hiding his amusement at the very _teenage_ action of groaning.

"I think I'm becoming my mother" Artemis replies with a sigh and Butlers' amusement becomes harder to hide "Anyway, what do you have for me?"

"Well snow white's getting annoyed and a tan. The huntsmen hasn't made an appearance yet nor the evil queen. No apples, poison or otherwise" Butler says as if anything he said made sense, and it did just not to a lot of people, Artemis frowns, still nothing. He knew how rare the Paraiba Tourmaline was (impossibly so) but he thought with Mulches' help things would move a lot faster than this… Holly Short hadn't been deployed yet. Artemis shrugs this off, them sending her was just a guess after all.

"Fine, good work Butler, oh and pack your things, I've told mother we're going on a tour of Europe and she's agreed to let us go" Artemis smiles like a vampire and Butler nods

"Yes sir"

"Good, we leave as soon as you're ready"

_Whoever they send I want them far away from mother_

**Authors note**

If you survived Friday 13th then review ^w^


	10. Faze II

The weakness of a criminal mastermind

Faze 2

**Florence, Italy **

Butler chortled as he walked in on what seemed to be a glaring contest between his charge and the sun.

"It's too bright" He complained without looking away from the window.

"Not enjoying Italy then?" The massive manservant smirked at her charge who scowled in return.

"Progress?" He asked with a perfectly arched brow.

"Snow white is doing well" "Not well enough" Artemis grumbled "Evil Queen possibly sighted" At this Artemis looked elated

"Ooh really? This should be fun then"

Butler sighed the code they had come up with was painfully obvious, he knew it was just taunting the fairy people into action.

_I'm honestly surprised the cameras didn't anger him, Artemis has always been such a private person…_

"So where next?" Artemis asked and Butler smirked

"Spain I think, since it's turned up empty here" Butler bluffed, to confuse Holly even more. Artemis sighed witheringly

"Don't worry, Fowls always get what they want"

**With Holly earlier that day**

Holly perched lithely on the top of a particularly vicious stone gargoyle and scowled.

"That mud man is leading me on a wild goose chase!" She whispered into her helmet even though it was soundproof.

"No one said this was gonna be easy" Foaly responded

"Che, yea yea"

"This really only goes to prove that they know about the cameras" Foaly ground out.

"I'm worried about those sunglasses" Holly said, reminded of the sunglasses that Butler had used to see and effectively wipe out an entire squad.

"It's blazing hot, he has an excuse to wear sunglasses… I wouldn't expect anything less from the mud boy to keep even the location perfect" Foaly said with a little too much admiration in his voice for Hollys liking.

"Focus Centaur"

"I am focusing, you're the one that's let Butler get away"

"D'arvit!" Holly swore and went off to chase her target again.

Somewhere, I swear that mud boy's laughing his sadistic _little head off_

She couldn't have been more wrong as at that very moment, said mud boy was sipping earl grey tea in a fruitless attempt to drown out his boredom.

**Authors note**

Sorry for the wait and short chapter, I think I may be experiencing writers block T-T


	11. Faze III

**Weakness of a criminal mastermind**

**Faze 3**

**Barcelona, Spain**

Artemis sighed in exasperation as he lifted his cold glass of ice tea to his lips. He had been trying to discreetly look around for any elfin spies – he had his fairy sunglasses on.

Apparently he had not been doing a great job.

"Stop" Butler sighed again and Artemis resisted the urge to roll his eyes

"It's not my fault" He grumbled "This is the first thing to happen that's fun" Butler chortled at his master but only for a moment before his sharp eyes were back darting around for any of the numerous enemies the Irish youth seemed to attract – it was only a week ago that Artemis had been attacked just outside of Bartlebys by the very cliché Russian spy- they were out in public today, at a little café where the sun was beaming down on them from under their umbrella "I hope I don't get a sun tan" Artemis said distractedly as he spotted his target and had to hold back a laugh while he slid his eyes closed once more to drink his ice tea. Holly Short did not look pleased.

And she wasn't. "How long can they just sit around drinking ice tea?" she exclaimed and scowled as Foaly laughed.

"It's not funny, they aren't doing anything!"

"Hmm, that is odd, well it is possible that this is all a distraction, it's even possible that he didn't even spot the camera… but I think he's taunting us with all that snow white stuff" Foaly pondered.

"Why is he always 12 steps ahead of us" Groaned Holly as she watched Artemis stand and leave the café with Butler in tow.

"Finally, I feel so stiff"

"He could be doing something to destroy us all, please sound less relieved" Root grunted

"Saying please, Julius? Arty is really getting to you"

"Shut up centaur!" Holly laughed as the Commander and Foaly argued back and forth, as annoying as it was it was also highly amusing how easily Foaly could make Root lose his cool.

Still she kept her mind on her work and tailed Fowl and his manservant at a considerable distance, though with Foalys' hi-tech cameras and mics on her helmet she could hear and see them perfectly.

Artemis stopped in the middle of the street for no apparent reason and Holly perched on the roof of the café they had just left.

Then Artemis did something that surprised Holly so much she almost fell off the roof, he turned on the spot and said very clearly "Holly Short" Then he turned around and kept walking with Butler at his side like a shadow.

**Paraiba Hills, Brazil**

"Hello, my supernatural friend!" A young blonde woman smiled and waved cheerfully to the lump on the ground known as Mulch Diggums who glared up at her. Apparently the heat and sun glaring down on them had not affected at all and it annoyed the hell out of the dwarf.

"Who the hell are you?" Mulch grunted and she smiled in response

"I'm Juliet Butler, you may remember my brother, you… blew him away" she said pleasantly and Mulch paled

_Not another Butler _

**Authors note**

Sorry for the delay, but here it is, hope you enjoyed ^w^


	12. Phase IV

**The weakness of a criminal mastermind **

**Phase IV **

**Barcelona, Spain **

"So he's definitely seen the cameras, then" Holly said with malice

"Not exactly, all we know for sure is that he can see you, but in all likelihood, yea the mud boy's seen the cameras" Foaly sighed

"So what's he after, revenge?" Root snarled

"Who knows" Holly said wearily and continued to tail Artemis, pretending to not see the smug smirk on the boys' face.

**-x-**

Artemis smirked to himself, _they actually sent Captain Short, it seems everything is going to plan _the pale adolescent ignored Butlers' raised brow, he'd answer the manservants' questions later and he knew Butler would wait patiently.

"Are all the pieces in position?" He murmured, fully aware that Holly could hear him.

"Yes, sir" Butler replied, he had been gathering materials while Artemis was at school, hiding them, and assembling them to Artemis' exact specifications, trusting that they weren't being followed at that point as Master Artemis had said.

"Good, back to Dublin?" Artemis suggested and Butler nodded once, Artemis didn't even look up from his phone and Butler resisted the urge to roll his eyes, sometimes Master Artemis was just as much the teenager as everyone else his age. Of course that didn't change the fact that the boy wouldn't be caught dead saying LOL or anything of that sort.

Meanwhile a certain dwarf was giving a toothy grin as he observed his prize as it glinted in the sunlight "Master Fowl will be pleased"

**-x-**

Foaly didn't admit flaws in his equipment. He just didn't do it, generally it wasn't his equipment to blame –in his opinion it was the stupid tough guys that joined law enforcement just to fly in to burning buildings- but this time, if they get launched into an interspecies war, it would be all his fault for wanting to spy on Artemis Fowl, the no1 enemy of the people. His cameras were seen, his equipment failed and it might have doomed them all.

Root didn't scare easy. He'd been an agent for many years, he'd thought he'd seen it all –Trolls, evil brothers etc. - when Fowl came along. And he was scared, scared that Holly wouldn't make it out, scared that that the mud people would find out about the people and scared ever so slightly that he would lose his job. But the latter was firmly in the back of his mind. Now the fear was back, that cold child with the vampire grin was once again threatening their very existence and they started it. As commander he should have stopped Foaly when he found out what was happening. Artemis Fowl was dangerous and it was common knowledge not to poke a sleeping dragon.

Holly was determined. That wasn't unusual; every day was a battle to prove herself. She might be the only fairy not afraid of the boy. That's probably because she was the only one to see him for what he was, a boy. Albeit a very smart boy. They learnt a lot about him through the videos and she didn't intend to forget anything. After all she'd seen she just didn't find him scary. That didn't mean she planned on underestimating the boy. As she sat on top of the plane Artemis and Butler boarded, she steeled herself for battle.


End file.
